How to tell if they like you: signals on a date and in messages

The most reliable signal: interest that happens

People have different natures. Some are shy, some flirt with everyone, some write one-word replies even to their own mum. That's why the most reliable thing isn't individual gestures, but interest that happens: a person who likes you takes steps toward you. Not once, but repeatedly.

Signals on a date

Almost certain

• 1. They suggest the next meeting. Concretely, with a day and a place. "We could sometime" is politeness. "How about Friday?" is interest.
• 2. They ask about you and follow up. Not just "and you?", but "and how did you get into that?". Curiosity is sexy and above all it's proof.
• 3. They remember details. Your dog's name, what you said last time about work. Whoever remembers, was listening.
• 4. They stretch the time. "Shall we go somewhere else?" or "I'll walk you home." When someone doesn't want to leave, they usually know why.

Likely

• 5. Body language points toward you. Shoulders and feet turn toward you, they lean in when you speak.
• 6. Eye contact. Longer than usual, with a smile. When you catch them looking at you and they don't immediately look away, that's good.
• 7. Small touches. A shoulder, a hand while laughing, handing you a cup so your fingers touch. Careful: some people touch everyone.
• 8. The phone stays in the pocket. If they take it out, it's only to show you a photo they're talking about.

Uncertain (on their own)

• 9. They laugh a lot. Could be interest, nervousness or simply a cheerful nature.
• 10. Nervous gestures. Playing with hair, awkwardness, tripping over a chair. Sometimes interest, sometimes just caffeine.

Signals in messages

• They start conversations. Not always you. If they write first at least sometimes, they want the contact.
• They reply within a reasonable time. Not necessarily right away, but consistently. What matters is what's normal for them.
• They ask questions. A conversation where they only answer "haha" and "aha" isn't a conversation.
• They follow up on things from the date. "So how did that meeting go?" is a better signal than twenty hearts.
• They share everyday things. A lunch photo, a joke from work, "this made me think of you". They think of you outside planned meetings too.

What not to overrate in messages

Emoji count, message length, a full stop at the end of a sentence. Some people write slowly and briefly because they hate the phone, and on a date they're golden. Some write novels and don't show up for the date. Messages are a supplementary signal, not the main proof.

Signals that interest probably isn't there

• Only you suggest meetings and they repeatedly cancel without offering another date.
• Replies are short, without questions and take days.
• On the date they look at the phone more often than at you.
• They only see you late in the evening and never during the day. That's not necessarily a lack of interest, but it may be a different kind of interest than you're looking for.
• They say they don't want anything serious. Believe them. This is one of the few sentences people say and mean exactly as said.

The simplest way to find out

Ask. Not "do you like me?" at two in the morning on a Friday, but for example: "I had a great time. Do you want to see each other again?" Or suggest a concrete next meeting and watch how they react. An enthusiastic "yes!" and a specific day say more than a week of body language analysis.

If the answer is evasive, it's not your fault or a failure. It's information that saves you time.

When you don't have to guess the interest

On classic dating apps even the match itself can mean anything, from interest to an accidental swipe right on the tram. On lāska.ai a match only happens when both people consciously confirm interest. When you start texting, one question is already answered: you both want the contact. The rest is up to the date.