What to talk about on a first date: 30 questions that don't sound like an interrogation

What a good first date conversation looks like

A good conversation is neither an interrogation nor a monologue. It's ping-pong: one asks, the other answers and adds something of their own, the first follows up. Questions are just the jumper cable, the engine has to run on its own.

Three rules that keep a conversation alive:

• Open questions. "How", "what", "why". "Do you like the mountains?" can be answered with "yeah" and then silence. "Where do you go when you need to switch off?" can't.
• Following up. The best second question grows out of the first answer. "You were in Georgia? What drew you there?" beats jumping to the next item on the list.
• Sharing. For every question you ask, add a piece of yourself. Otherwise it's a journalist interviewing a celebrity.

30 first date questions

To warm up

• 1. How was your day before we met?
• 2. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
• 3. What's made you laugh the most lately?
• 4. Where's the best coffee in town, in your opinion?
• 5. What does your ideal day off look like?
• 6. What's the last thing you read, watched or listened to and couldn't stop?

About interests and passions

• 7. What would you spend more time on if you could?
• 8. What do you enjoy about your job, and what would you happily throw out the window?
• 9. When did you last learn something completely new?
• 10. What hobby do you have that no one would guess?
• 11. What are you looking forward to the most right now?
• 12. What would you do if you didn't have to worry about money tomorrow?

About travel and experiences

• 13. Where would you go back to tomorrow?
• 14. The worst holiday you've ever had?
• 15. Are you a planner or an improviser?
• 16. Which place in Czechia do you think people underrate?
• 17. Where are you planning to go that you haven't been yet?

About people and relationships (lightly)

• 18. Which friend knows you best and what would they say about you?
• 19. What's your place in the family: oldest, youngest, middle?
• 20. Who do you know that you'd swap lives with for a day?
• 21. What does a good friend mean to you?

Going deeper (once the conversation flows)

• 22. What have you been proud of lately?
• 23. What has changed you the most in life?
• 24. What would you still like to get rid of, a bad habit, a fear, anything?
• 25. What matters to you in a relationship?
• 26. Where do you see yourself in a few years, not career-wise, but how do you want to live?

To lighten the mood when it stalls

• 27. What's the weirdest food you love?
• 28. If you could have any superpower for one day?
• 29. What's your most embarrassing date story? (Or from this one?)
• 30. What did you last argue about with a complete stranger, maybe in the comments?

Topics to avoid on a first date

• Exes. One sentence saying you're after a breakup is fine. A half-hour analysis of who was to blame is not. On a first date an ex is like a third guest who only pays for their own coffee and ruins the evening.
• Money in detail. Salary, debts, mortgage. That will come, but not now.
• Politics and religion in depth. Mentioning them is fine, arguing is not. If they're core values for you, you can touch on them, but a first date isn't a TV debate.
• Health problems. Unless they're essential to how you spend the evening together, leave them for later.
• Future kids and weddings. Unless it's an absolute dealbreaker filter and it's in your profile, don't open it right away. Asking about general ideas of a relationship is fine, naming children is not.

What to do when an awkward silence hits

First: silence is not a catastrophe. A few seconds of quiet is normal and often means you're both thinking. If it lasts longer, you have three options:

• 1. Comment on the surroundings. The café, the dog at the next table, the exhibition. The surroundings are an inexhaustible supply of topics.
• 2. Return to an earlier topic. "Back to Georgia, how did you actually get there?"
• 3. Admit it. "Well, this is the moment where we both wonder what to say next." Honesty and humour dissolve tension faster than any question.

How to tell the conversation is going well

• You both talk roughly the same amount.
• Answers get longer and their own questions appear.
• You laugh without having to force it.
• You realise an hour has passed and you haven't looked at your phone.

You have topics before you even arrive

The hardest thing is a conversation with someone you know nothing about except five photos. On lāska.ai you get an explanation with every recommendation of what you have in common, maybe a love of the mountains or a similar take on free time. So you arrive at the first date with at least one sure topic and don't have to fish for it in your phone.